Scotty & Nige 

You know how, sometimes, you have an idea so amazingly awesome yet, at the same time, so blissfully simple, that you wonder how come nobody's thought of it before? Who knows, maybe they have, but they weren't a well-respected pillar of the community and/or a media superstar like I am, so nobody took them seriously.

Good morning from the team here at the Wacky news desk.

I've found that if you start paying too much attention to what's happening in the world, it can wear you down. You can, very quickly, find yourself sitting in front of news.com.au, shaking your head and sighing instead of preparing your work for the day's broadcast.

Scotty and Nige have put together a "New Moon" themed gossip column for you as the latest "Twilight Series" movie breaks records.

According to what I read a couple of days ago, this bloke called sheik Haron, who is already charged with sending offensive mail to the families of soldiers killed in Afghanistan, has now turned his attention to the Wiggles.

Scotty and Nige give us all the latest gossip for our ready pleasure. Enjoy...

Dear Britney Spears fans, Call me a conscientious observer, if you will, but I felt obligated to drop you all a quick line. Just in case you've had every radio, television, newspaper and fellow human being somehow excluded from your life for the past four years or so, I gotta share something with you.

Moments after becoming only the third American to win the Australian Masters, with a two-shot victory at Kingston Heath yesterday, Tiger Woods uttered the words every sports fan in this country wanted to hear: "I would love to come back."

According to a recent study in the UK, nine-year-olds don't know much about history, especially when it comes to World War II. Apparently, a large number of them believe Adolf Hitler is a football coach, and that Auschwitz was a theme park of some sort.

Scotty and Nige review the week that was...